Pastor Says God Loves Homosexuals

Let’s see . . . huh . . . er . . . according to this experienced pastor, God loves Sodomites, lesbians, transvestites, queers, faggots, Muslims, murderers, assassins, prostitutes, sadomasochists, kidnappers, liars, cheats, peeping toms, adulterers, thieves, banksters, greedy politicians, lady-boys, oath-breakers, rapists, gang-bangers, felons, criminals, and all those involved in child sacrifice.

God is just boiling over with sweet, tingling, pom-pom love to have all these slightly flawed people in heaven with him.

I’m so glad we have young, smooth-faced, clean shaven pastors like Landon Schott to guide modern Dudley-Do-Good Christians by “showing love for others.”

God loves everybody . . . God loves ugly . . . God even loves nasty. I even feel His heart pounding out love from heaven, don’t chew? “Boom de luv,” “Boom de luv,” Boom de luv, luv, luv!”

So, let’s all hug, sing “Kumbaya,” let everybody out of jail, and tolerate these minor differences between people.

Love is the cure for everything! Even ISIS be-headers.

Let’s all jump in bed with the Sodomites and “minister to them right where they are,” declared the pastor . . . or something like that.

Don’t you just loooooove Caramel Christianity?

Give everybody sugar-slap cereals, and love, love, love, love, love is what I say!

But, damn all those veteran, battle-scarred pastors that call “chicken hawks” sinners headed for hell! What the heck was wrong with Jonathan Edwards when he wrote, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?” I guess he never read John 3:16.

I just love that lovin’ feelin’ from the top of my head to the bottom of my tiny pink toes.

Candy Striper, Storm Brooks

Psalm 7:6

P.S. When Isaiah received his vision, he heard seraphim calling one to another saying: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” Perhaps, the good pastor would do better to inform homosexuals that God is holy; and that He hates their homosexuality.

Pastor Says God Loves Homosexuals